Mort
Rainey
“At first, I thought he had just stole my story,” stated Shooter. “Then I got a good look at his wife and realized he had stole her too. His Amy was my long-lost wife, Sadie, who had disappeared a good twelve years back along with my best hunting dog, Chico. Well, we just couldn’t be having all that now, could we? Then I discovered that this Ted feller had stolen my Sadie from Mort, so he had to go as well. And Sadie, well, she refused to come back to me, where she belonged. ”
Shooter confessed that he had also drugged Rainey during the time the alleged incidents took place. “It was real easy to plant the powder into his Doritos. He was scarfing ‘em down at the time like it wasn’t nobody’s business. Helped make him sleepy and confused.”
John Shooter was remanded into the sheriff’s custody and is awaiting testing for his competency to stand trial.
As to Mort Rainey, the only comment he had to make was, “I’m glad it is finally over. This whole thing has made me feel totally icky.”
Mort Rainey addresses the press